AND, I LEARNED SOMETHING ON MONDAY

Yesterday was the slowest day I've experienced in a long while. Total case of the Mondays. My train skipped my stop on the way to work, so I had to walk extra far. I had forgotten everything I did last week, so I had to go through stupid emails just to remember how much work I had. The clocked ticked by ever... so... slowly. Work piled up, and I had to stay late. And worst of all, despite my normal cab-grabbing ability, I totally got passed by from 3 different cabs when I left work (I totally jinxed myself). Mondays SUCK.

And through it all, Danny and I forgot what carries us through our usual Monday doldrums. We forgot to post! Despite the fact that you could scroll down to the latest 2 posts and see the results yourselves, I know its much better to read our in-depth, thorough analysis. I mean, its what we're here for. That, and to waste your time with a mindless schedule of my Monday. But at least I proved my point. MONDAYS ARE BORING. Why would you read my Monday schedule?!? It was guaranteed to be really, really boring!

To make a long story short, over the course of long boring Monday, Danny and I forgot to post. And for that, we apologize. So here are the results from last week:

1. Sneeze Louise - so I hate to rub it in, but I WAS TOTALLY RIGHT. I knew I had super-fly social skillz. The question was posed of how often to say bless you when some frightful woman sneezed like a bazillion (Ed. note: 4) times on a subway. And 57% of readers totes mcgotes agreed with me - 2 bless-you's is enough. After that, they're being rude to you by doing THIS all up in your area. Kinda makes me want to get violent with someone next time they sneeze a 3rd time. But I'll settle for NOT saying bless you. Take that over-sneezer.

2. Reader write in - the case of the fallen newspapers in Union Square was finally solved last week. Have you ever been walking around New York and the wind will pick up napkins or paper and they start to go everywhere? Its super annoying. I feel all guilty for not picking it up, but I know the second I reach for it, the wind is going to pick up again and make me look like a FOOL. Well, from now on, I'm just going to call Mike, the friendly neighborhood litterer. Because a whopping 73% of readers said you should for sure turn around and pick up what you knocked over. Mike, maybe you could learn a little from this guy or this guy.

Tune in tomorrow morning for the next poll from Dan the man. And watch out for a new segment starting this Friday. I know you're SUPER EXCITED!

BARRY AND AMJAD'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE

So I was heading home from work a few weeks ago, and it was pouring outside. I hailed a cab (I'm absolutely spectacular at hailing cabs. Rain, snow, crowds - no matter. I see that little light on top and pounce like a cheetah) and headed uptown to my apartment.

From work to home is maybe a 10 minute ride. The heavy rain should slow my cab driver Amjad down, but he was speeding up 6th Ave like he was James Marsden or something. Meanwhile, I'm in the backseat kiiiiiinda freaking out - with good reason - we're near 80mph (please note, I'm a terrible guesstimator) and he wants to go faster!

About 7 seconds later, my man Amjad wanted to switch lanes. Unfortunately, another driver had the same idea, and BAM! Not a terrible accident (I'M FINE THANKS FOR ASKING), but lets just say that nifty plexiglas did its part. By now, Amjad is yelling what I imagine was some seriously foul language before turning around to check on me (YES AMJAD, I'M FINE THANKS FOR ASKING). He then throws this one at me: "So, so sorry about that other cab, crazy driver. That will be $3.80"

In my shaken state, I couldn't even fathom arguing with the man. I gave Amjad $4 and got out before I realized what I'd done. I look up and I'm at 6th Ave and Downing St. Where is that, you ask? NOWHERE CLOSE TO MY APARTMENT, THAT'S WHERE. He took me a whopping 6 blocks! As I'm getting rained on staring at these two gentleman cabbies scream at each other, I started chatting with some tall guy who got out of the other cab from the accident:

Me: Man, what a mess
Tall Stranger: Yeah, luckily I'm only a block away, and hey, free cab ride.
Me: Oh nice, lucky. Wait, what? Free cab ride?
Tall Stranger: Yeah, free. He got in a crash when I was in the cab... You paid?
Me: Yeah... I'm like 30 blocks away still.
Tall, Smug Stranger: Oh.. sucker.

OK, tall stranger didn't call me a sucker. But I could TOTALLY see the smugness in his eyes.

Anyway voters, we ask you this...

Am I supposed to pay that cab driver when he gets in a crash, be it a mere fender bender?

HERO NO. 2

As we all know very well by now, this winter hasn't been especially kind to anyone. Blizzard warnings left and right, NYC schools closing down - heck, even the people on The Weather Channel named the month February of Fury. Anyway, I'm walking to work the other day (early as usual) and the sidewalks are a bit icy. Not too bad, but I wasn't exactly jogging.

As I'm crossing the street I notice a women in her mid 50's take a little tumble as she's fumbling with her phone. Scratch that, she fell, hard. At that very moment I think everyone in a one-block radius learned that black ice and Blackberry's don't mix. Obviously, as a good Samaritan and citizen of New York I am certainly going to stop, help her up, pick up her things and make sure she's OK etc. etc. However, as I'm rushing to her aide, some other guy comes barreling in like he's James Marsden or something and gets to her before I can. Obviously, this guy wanted to play hero more than me. I was lost. Do I stop and help as well? Act like it never happened? Laugh?!

Now New York, here's where I need your help. Because I have two options here, and I'm not exactly sure what the protocol is.

Am I supposed to be hero number two?