FRIDAY LINKS - 4/2/10

Happy Friday all! It's Good Friday, and for whatever reason, about half of my friends are off work, and half are in work. I HATE these semi-holidays. Nothing makes me more jealous than someone else being off work while I'm sitting in the office. Even if I've been off for a week-long vacation, if I come back and someone else is out, I turn violent. What?? Someone else is off work... and I have to sit here in this office? Sending emails and typing and putting information into Excal? All day?!? THE HUMANITY!

And to top it off, it's SUPER nice out. Office shades are up, windows are cracked, and I'm forced to sit here and enjoy the weather from afar. Sighhhhhh. If you're reading this today, I assume its the same for you. Don't worry though - Danny and I are here to get you through this. If you can't be off work and enjoying the best weather we've had yet in 2010, at least you can waste a few minutes at work with some FRIDAY LINKS:

1. Ladies, pay close attention. We love you, but try not to sound like this all the time.

2. By now, everyone has seen the Old Spice commercials with the studly gentleman holding diamonds, or tickets to that thing you love, or on a horse. And don't get me wrong, they're great. But the new Old Spice Odor Blocker campaign is hilarious. So hilarious, in fact, that we will post not one, not two, but all three amazingly awesome ads. ABBBBDOMINALS!

3. CUTE VIDEO OF THE WEEK!

4. In the words of Ferris, "Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Well, that's never true more than in New York, the city that constantly moves. Which is why a video like this is even more amazing/inspiring/jaw dropping. Definitely worth the 5 minutes to watch, and maybe even the interview to see how the whole thing was shot. Plus, look how WITTTTTLE our city looks!

5. And lastly, I know you're over this whole Passover thing, and that's ok. But just in case you're wondering, the Japanese have finally figured out the key to Passover. And, ladies and gentlemen, that's just the way the matzo crumbles (get it?!?).

That's it for us folks. Have a fantastic weekend all. You deserve it.

THIS IS WHY THIS WEEK SUCKS

Good afternoon hebrews and shebrews! That's right people - you caught me smack in the middle of Passover. Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking: a blond haired, blue eyed, southern Jew?! How cliche!

But I had to warn everyone - do NOT mess with me this week. In my opinion, this is the worst week ever, simply because I can't have ANY of my favorite foods. Wanna know why? Not to go all historical on your asses, but basically some stupid Pharaoh tried to rush the Jews out of Egypt, and they had to make bread really quickly. And it turned out, well, not so well. And now, 3,000 years later, here's what I'm left to eat:

• Any type of bread
• Pita Pockets
• Wraps
• Cereal
• Chips
• Pasta
• Rice
• Cookies
• Salad

GREAT. Thank you SOOOOOO MUCH ancient Jews. A few thousand years later, my ancestors went ahead and banned other stuff they weren't totally sure about, like rice and beans and corn. Fast forward to now? CORN IS IN EVERYTHING. What am I supposed to eat for a whole week now stupid pharaoh?!

Oh, and since wheat products are generally used in the fermenting process, lets go ahead and cross off beer, vodka, gin, rum, scotch, bourbon, and, well, anything else that gets you drunk and tastes good. In other words, I'm totally OK to drink Manischewitz Wine and Potato Vodka. Ever had potato vodka? IT TASTES LIKE DEATH.

So if you see me crabby in the morning, its because I can't have my bagel, or toast, or a muffin, or cereal, or granola (grains) or yogurt (corn syrup). All I can have is matzo and fruit.

And if you see me crabby in the afternoon, its because I can't have a sandwich, or a wrap, or a panini, or street meat, or pretzels, or chips (most chips are fried in corn oil). All I can have is matzo and (some) deli meats.

And if you see me crabby at night, its because I can't have pasta, or sushi, or a burger (bun), or a burrito (flour tortilla), or wings, or even cookies. All I can have it matzo and plain chicken.

And if you see me crabby this weekend, its because I can't drink my face off. Instead, I have to sip on kosher wine and pound shots of potato juice.

Hope you're enjoying your week as much as I am.